Ten Best Cars For Santa Claus

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12/23/2014 at 09:37 • Filed to: SANTA

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Good morning fellow readers and contributors of the Oppositelock web blog.

As you may know, Christmas is just around the corner and Santa Claus is about to embark in a journey of gift delivery. He will need lots of cargo space, speed, comfort and range. Range is important because Santa can't waste too much time refueling, so range is very important, more than MPG. Basically, we're looking at 3 things.

1 - Huge trunk

2- Huge fuel tank

3 - Huge engine

Let's see what we have.

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10 - BMW 5GT

With the rear seats folded, this beast can swallow an immense load of gifts, and the 3.0L Diesel engine will provide all the necessary torque to pull that shit.

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9- Porsche Panamera

Another great German hunchback with a Diesel engine, same qualities as the 5Gt but with added sex appeal.

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8- Tesla Model S

Thanks to Elton Musk's new battery swap stations, Santa won't have to worry about range. This big torquey hatchback comes with a trunk and a frunk .

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5- Buick Roadmaster Wagon

Big trunk, big engine, big fuel tank. 'Nuff said.

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4- Hennessy VelociRaptor

With a vehicle like this, needless to say that Santa will go to bed early !

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3- Ford E350 SuperDuty V10 Triton

A picture is worth a thousand words.

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2- Mercury Marauder

The Panther is well known for its reliability, its good MPG ratings, its performances and its huge trunk. It checks all the boxes. The Marauder is all that, but with more quickness.

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1- YOU DECIDE !

Submit your best car for Santa Claus below in the comment, the winner will be revealed this afternoon.

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DISCUSSION (100)


Kinja'd!!! djmt1 > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 09:43

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Audi RS6

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600HP

Quattro

Estate

And 30 MPG.


Kinja'd!!! Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 09:43

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MB E63 AMG Estate.. Hands down..

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Fast, ample space, comfy.. did I mention fast?


Kinja'd!!! Margin Of Error > Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh
12/23/2014 at 09:44

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But what about the range ?


Kinja'd!!! Margin Of Error > djmt1
12/23/2014 at 09:44

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Great pick.


Kinja'd!!! 505Turbeaux > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 09:45

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Kinja'd!!! Alfalfa > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 09:47

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An AM General, of course.

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Kinja'd!!! Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 09:47

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15/21mpg.. 21 gallon tank..


Kinja'd!!! nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 09:48

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Kinja'd!!! TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 09:48

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North Pole tested - passed with flying colours.

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Kinja'd!!! Sn210 > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 09:48

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Santa needs to get around the entire world in one night, he's got no time for messing around.


Kinja'd!!! Carl (@stuffcarlsays) > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 09:49

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I've had the honor task of dressing up as Santa for our company's family christmas party since 2011 and I drive a Volvo V70 XC. I think Santa should rock a 190-horse turbo sleigh.

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Kinja'd!!! Margin Of Error > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut
12/23/2014 at 09:49

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Mother of God


Kinja'd!!! Margin Of Error > nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul
12/23/2014 at 09:50

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Reminds me of this

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Kinja'd!!! itschrome > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 09:52

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I'd say grip might be an issue, but if the fat bastard can use magic to go down a chiminey he can use magic to find grip in the ice and snow for this!


Kinja'd!!! Margin Of Error > Carl (@stuffcarlsays)
12/23/2014 at 10:08

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True, Santa would probably drive a Volvo, or a Saab.


Kinja'd!!! Alex B > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 10:10

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BMW 5GT or Porsche Panamera. The Panamera will be the best handling. I really like the Tesla Model S too! Those are my top three.


Kinja'd!!! BaconSandwich is tasty. > Sn210
12/23/2014 at 10:11

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Especially if it's a diesel - "... there arose such a clatter..."


Kinja'd!!! Vicente Esteve > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 10:11

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I think you nailed it with the VelociRaptor.

Or, an Audi Q7 V12 TDI

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Yep, this is now my favourite 3 row SUV.


Kinja'd!!! Carl (@stuffcarlsays) > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 10:14

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All I used to drive were Saabs.


Kinja'd!!! Sn210 > BaconSandwich is tasty.
12/23/2014 at 10:18

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right? And I'd imagine his rig would have a reindeer livery instead of Redbull. Maybe even CocaCola if he needs the sponsorship money.


Kinja'd!!! Margin Of Error > 505Turbeaux
12/23/2014 at 10:18

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Kinja'd!!! Margin Of Error > Alfalfa
12/23/2014 at 10:26

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Probably not quick enough


Kinja'd!!! davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 10:26

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This is a great photo.


Kinja'd!!! Redbulldidlo > Sn210
12/23/2014 at 11:49

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I was scrolling down to post a unimog, but learned I had lost.


Kinja'd!!! Sn210 > Redbulldidlo
12/23/2014 at 11:50

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Unimog would work, probably a whole lot cheaper than one of these things!


Kinja'd!!! Redbulldidlo > Sn210
12/23/2014 at 11:52

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I think it's a little too slow though


Kinja'd!!! Redbulldidlo > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 11:53

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Sherpas need Santa too.


Kinja'd!!! MK6GTI-now with added Miata > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 12:54

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One of those rare cars that looks photoshopped even in person.


Kinja'd!!! True > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 12:56

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I'll be right back. I'm going to add "people who apply holiday themed decorations to their cars" to my airing of grievances post.


Kinja'd!!! Alex B > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 12:56

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Kinja'd!!! Wolc *grammar nazis go f*** yourselves* > Alfalfa
12/23/2014 at 12:57

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Really?

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Kinja'd!!! BrtStlnd > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 12:58

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I will place the over/under on times a Volvo wagon will be suggested at 26.5. What ya got?


Kinja'd!!! Mustang 'DontHitTheCrowd' GT > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 12:58

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Probably the Toyota Solara with its fat rear end, especially from behind it.. kinda reminds me of a sleigh for some inexpicable reason

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Kinja'd!!! High Road > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:01

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3 - Huge engine

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Kinja'd!!! PeteRR > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:01

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Kinja'd!!! Charlie B. Sharenative > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:02

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Kinja'd!!! I probably did it > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:04

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I always picture Santa driving one of these...

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Kinja'd!!! doodon2whls > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:04

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Magnum SRT8

Because 'Mericuh !

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If necessary, this will drop right in....

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Kinja'd!!! William Clavey > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:06

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Elton?


Kinja'd!!! Boter > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
12/23/2014 at 13:07

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Agreed, that's pretty stellar. New wallpaper.


Kinja'd!!! fawgcutter > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:07

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Elton Musk? thought it was Elon

Howzabout Steve's old ride? http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/you-call-that-…

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Kinja'd!!! Maxxuman > Sn210
12/23/2014 at 13:07

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And it flies! I guess the Reinbull gives it wings...


Kinja'd!!! Alfalfa > Wolc *grammar nazis go f*** yourselves*
12/23/2014 at 13:07

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Really.

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Kinja'd!!! BorkBorkBjork > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:08

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8.1L Suburban, towing a box trailer. Talk about cargo capacity!

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Kinja'd!!! 43%burnt > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:09

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# 10 .... swallows an immense load? Christmas time always brings the childishness out of me


Kinja'd!!! RoverMan > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:10

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The one thing missing in all of these is class. Range Rover Autobiography classy plenty of storage roof rack or not.


Kinja'd!!! Fred (FreddsterExprs) > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:10

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6x6.


Kinja'd!!! rb1971 ARGQF+CayenneTurbo+E9+328GTS+R90S > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:11

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You've got to deliver to about a billion children in one night? You'll need something fast.

What about cargo capacity and/or fuel volume? That part is magic.


Kinja'd!!! Maxxuman > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:12

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What about Walter? Plenty of room for pressies, elves, etc.

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Kinja'd!!! telkins > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:13

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Jeep LJ . . . with a few mods of course.

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Kinja'd!!! detailer4u > djmt1
12/23/2014 at 13:13

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Dang! you beat me to it. Well played!


Kinja'd!!! andy_blackmore > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:16

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I could lend him my new toy.....or perhaps not


Kinja'd!!! Judd > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:16

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It's a no-brainer. Le Torneau Overland Train


Kinja'd!!! Kinja'd Again > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:17

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Quite frankly, it's the only suitable choice.


Kinja'd!!! Mercedes Streeter > doodon2whls
12/23/2014 at 13:20

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Hellcat Magnum? Hellcat Magnum...


Kinja'd!!! Ratchet when he's all hopped up on synthetic energon > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:21

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The mass production air car. Because much like Santa, it doesn't exist. (yeah, yeah, bah humbug).

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Kinja'd!!! clinsky > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:21

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Any rental car. Because rental car.


Kinja'd!!! FromCanadaWithLove > Sn210
12/23/2014 at 13:26

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I don't think I've ever seen a photo of one on the ground. Everything checks out here.


Kinja'd!!! Sir HoonsAlot > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:32

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STI hatch

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or CTS-V Wagon

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!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!


Kinja'd!!! Margin Of Error > BrtStlnd
12/23/2014 at 13:35

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As of now, the Volvo wagon is a runner up


Kinja'd!!! Margin Of Error > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
12/23/2014 at 13:37

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Thanks


Kinja'd!!! GreenN_Gold > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:37

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1,600 miles of range, and it will hold a lot of presents. Add trailer for additional presents.

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Kinja'd!!! interrogator-chaplain > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:38

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Bust out the breadvan!


Kinja'd!!! Margin Of Error > Judd
12/23/2014 at 13:39

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What about the speed ?


Kinja'd!!! Margin Of Error > RoverMan
12/23/2014 at 13:41

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But it would break down all the time.


Kinja'd!!! NateCorrales > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:42

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Power, Storage, Big gas tank. All in one


Kinja'd!!! wrxkwndo > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:42

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This immediately comes to mind for me.

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Kinja'd!!! Judd > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:43

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Overlooked that part.


Kinja'd!!! YoeMeyeR > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:43

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Excuse me?

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Kinja'd!!! SP23 > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:49

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/thread.


Kinja'd!!! NoDakSMACK > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:51

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I would've much rather seen a 71-76 GM wagon in place of the buick roadmaster. Much larger, much cooler. But I'm a derby driver so I'm biased.


Kinja'd!!! Der Sportwagoner > djmt1
12/23/2014 at 13:52

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Suddenly, my pants feel tighter...


Kinja'd!!! RoverMan > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:53

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The panther is the only "reliable" car on this list to begin with. My M62 powered truck is 10yrs old and only major thing to fail was the airbags and that is arnott's fault not BMW, FORD or LR's.


Kinja'd!!! Margin Of Error > RoverMan
12/23/2014 at 13:58

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I think the Roadmaster qualifies as reliable as well. It was GM's weak answer to the Panther.


Kinja'd!!! my car smells like crayons > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:59

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A Lead Sled... in red.

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Kinja'd!!! my car smells like crayons > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 13:59

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Well, I'm sure the moose test is one way to keep those reindeer motivated.


Kinja'd!!! Margin Of Error > my car smells like crayons
12/23/2014 at 14:01

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LOL good one, well played !


Kinja'd!!! JFJOVA > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 14:01

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There is clearly no other choice


Kinja'd!!! RoverMan > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 14:05

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I'll push with you on that maybe because I cant even remember the last time i saw one so probably not that reliable. Granted i haven't lived many places those things would be anyway except New England but they were a dime a dozen in New England in their time.


Kinja'd!!! Margin Of Error > JFJOVA
12/23/2014 at 14:06

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A fire truck ? But why


Kinja'd!!! Margin Of Error > my car smells like crayons
12/23/2014 at 14:08

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Is it the same car as ZZ top ?


Kinja'd!!! Straightsix9904 > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 14:11

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That's funny. I took that lead photo.


Kinja'd!!! Margin Of Error > Straightsix9904
12/23/2014 at 14:14

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Awesome, what's the story ?

I found it on Bing images.


Kinja'd!!! Tohru > NoDakSMACK
12/23/2014 at 14:16

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71-76 GM wagon

a man after my own heart


But I'm a derby driver

you monster


Kinja'd!!! Tohru > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 14:17

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Why did you list the #1 car as the #5 car?


Kinja'd!!! iJakeyB > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 14:19

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Jeep Grand Cherokee EcoDiesel.

Checks all the right boxes:

Range: ~700 highway miles

Power: 240HP, 420 lb.f

Cargo: Big trunk and can tow an extra 7,400 lb

4x4 system for those out of reach kids.

And just look at that gorgeous red paint!

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Kinja'd!!! Straightsix9904 > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 14:22

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I saw the car parked about a block away from where I work. The guy also puts a huge key on the rear like one of those wide-up toys during other times of the year. I took the picture, I think, about 2 years ago and I haven't seen it in awhile, he may have sold it.


Kinja'd!!! Margin Of Error > iJakeyB
12/23/2014 at 14:23

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Excellent review


Kinja'd!!! weissmeister > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 14:28

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I had no idea Ford made an E-Series with a 6.8L V10. That is amazing.

How in the holy hell did they only get 305 hp and 420 lb-ft out of it, though?


Kinja'd!!! Detroit 9000 > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 14:41

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Flex EcoBoost...plenty of room, plenty of zoom. It can hold up to six midgets, I mean elves, plus Santa. Even more if you unbolt the center row seats, which takes less than 10 minutes..


Kinja'd!!! In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you > GreenN_Gold
12/23/2014 at 14:41

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Also in black it looks like the damn POLAR EXPRESS!


Kinja'd!!! In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you > iJakeyB
12/23/2014 at 14:42

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420 BLAZE IT


Kinja'd!!! Margin Of Error > weissmeister
12/23/2014 at 14:48

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Ford made plenty of amazing things !


Kinja'd!!! Margin Of Error > FromCanadaWithLove
12/23/2014 at 14:51

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Yea, verily


Kinja'd!!! TheStigsGermanCousin > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 14:53

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It can fit down the chimney too!


Kinja'd!!! TheStigsGermanCousin > Sn210
12/23/2014 at 14:54

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I want ups to put these in their fleet so when I get car parts the get here on time and in a stellar way


Kinja'd!!! EtrnL_Frost > Sn210
12/23/2014 at 14:57

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This is the only option.


Kinja'd!!! 900turbo > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 14:58

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No worries,

Because Aussie Roadtrain.

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Kinja'd!!! Chaos-cascade > Margin Of Error
12/23/2014 at 14:58

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LOL


Kinja'd!!! Audi-os, Amigos! > Vicente Esteve
12/23/2014 at 14:59

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It is objectively the best 3-row SUV.